Dating throughout changing times
Times have really changed. Going back very far into our past humanity, a Gentleman would call on a Lady by coming by her family home, and presenting his card. It was the Lady’s decision whether to turn away a suitor day to day, to accept his flowers and not himself, or to agree to meet him and spend a day with him. Dating wasn’t even called dating then, it was called courtship, because he was courting her affections with the intent to press marriage. When the courtship went well and had gone on for the prescribed amount of time deemed proper, the Gentleman could then approach her father to work out details including a dowry, and setting a date to announce their betrothal. During such time, the Lady was still courted by her betrothed, they were not allowed to live together, nor sleep with one another until after they were married.
During the 1950’s, dating was still not called dating, it was “going steady”. To have this title meant that she wore his letterman’s jacket as a sign of pride and a symbol of ownership, and she may even have worn his high school signet ring on a chain around her neck. It was all to state to all who looked at her, that she was taken, and by whom. The steady couples dream dates were visits to a local diner and soda shoppe, to play their favorite tunes on the jukebox, or going to a drive-in movie. He may or may not reach out for a quick kiss, but it never went further because that’s just not how good kids behaved. People were different then. Many married their high school sweethearts and stuck the course during marriage because they believed that when you get married it was forever, in good and bad times, maybe especially the bad times. There was no talk of divorce, only making the best of life together with the person they would always love. People seemed surer then.
People got quite a bit more daring in the 1980’s, after two decades of free spirited behavior, drugs, and rock and roll, the beginning of disco, and pushing limits in both society and personally. War ravaged the world, and changed people’s notions about forever. Our time as human beings became more important to us, and deciding who we wanted to gift it to became a decision that was made with much more care, time and thought. We started to become selfish in our desires, and to protect what we used to give away freely. We became less genuine and more the actors and actresses of the world, in an effort to put our best foot forward, and to only let in the people we deemed worthy. In the 80’s, punk rock and bold clashing colors were the fad, acid washed jeans, the inception of Mohawks, and movies like The Goonies, and Back to the Future. During all this madness, music and obvious rebellion against the status quo, people began having sex earlier, breaking cultural norms and feeling great about it. People wanted more and more to be an individual more than one of many who did the same thing. It is from this point that we have adapted.
Enter the present. Our society is based off of our individual desires, rather than that of what would be good for all. We place high value on money, health and position. Most of us are not looking for forever immediately. People used to behave more like the animal kingdom by living only to ensure the continuity of our species. We wanted to give our children to the world. Today, we are trying to prevent it. We are more caught up with living for the now, for ourselves, and concerned with our future. Dating is understood to be commitment free on both sides, and it does not mean there will be another date to follow. The dating world is messy and scary these days. People are less sure what to expect from the other, and they have no idea what the other is thinking. As people are less genuine upon first meeting, less genuine encounters occur. The person you think you are getting to know, may be a different person than the one you move in with.
Over all this time, there are some immutable things that will always be the same. Men want to feel in charge and powerful, they want to be the one the woman chooses out of a line-up, and women want to feel protected, beautiful and special. Psychology deals with the inner person, the genuine self inside it all, and by understanding that, it opens up so much knowledge that normally escapes us all. Josh Pellicer learned about human psychology, women in particular. He sought to understand what seemed impossible. He learned body language and vocal cues, and how to use his body to speak when words might do more harm than good. He has learned to make psychology work for him, and it would have done so regardless how times have changed, or will continue to. His e-book, The Tao of Badass, offers a chance for everyone to learn more about human behavior, and how to escape the maddening cycle of failed dating for men.
Josh Pellicer has been writing about dating and relationship advise, as well as social etiquette for many years. After extensive research he compiled an e-book with all his golden nuggets of knowledge to bring us The Tao of Badass. What makes this product better than its competitors is that Josh sets up a forum area for his members to share information and help them improve the social quality of their life.