Escaping the “friend zone”
Men hate it and women love it. They have you wagging at them like puppy dogs and doing everything that they want you to do. You spend a fortune on dinner and drinks and wait patiently as she has her heart broken over and over again by complete jerks.
The problem is that without guidance and technique, no amount of your niceness is going to get you out of the “friend zone”. In our The Tao of Badass review, we detail how the program covers this in-depth, but here’s some tips to help you do just that.
So what got you into the friend zone in the first place?
If you have carefully built up a rapport with a woman, gotten her to trust you and feel comfortable with you but have not injected sexuality into your interaction, you are well on your way to the “buddy zone”. There are many reasons why there is no chemistry. Possibly one of the reasons is that you are just not touching her enough. To get a spark you must overcome the touch barrier early on and continue escalating the touch as time goes by.
Touch must occur within minutes of the beginning of rapport and must continue frequently throughout the time spent together. You can start by touching her hand or shoulder for less than 3 seconds after a few minutes that you have been speaking. Then touch her at least once a minute for a few seconds, until the touching turns more into caresses.
If you don’t touch her, her initial intrigue and attraction will not be connected to any physical interaction between you. What you need to do is anchor her emotions of trust and emotional connection with your touch, so that when you touch her she will feel these emotions over and over again. On average about 94%-98% of men do not touch enough during rapport building. Keep your hand gestures totally normal and casual, like you would with a male buddy.
The other mistake is skipping the attraction process
Inexperienced daters will try to start building rapport when attraction has not yet started. This is a big mistake, and women will feel like getting their friend over to save them or will try to make up excuses to sneak away. You must build up her initial curiosity and attraction by being fun and “buddy-ish” until you receive the signals that she is ready.
How do you get out of the friend zone?
Well, one thing is certain: if you keep on doing what you’re doing you will never ever get out of the friend zone.
To start with, don’t ever ask women out on dates and if you’ve already done it with her don’t do it again. It puts you into a submissive role that is not good for her opinion of you. Tell her where you are going to be and when, and ask her to meet up with you if she likes.
Now, you must make that woman believe that there is more to you than meets the eye. Women are attracted to men that other women are attracted to because they will start suspecting that maybe they’d missed seeing your value the first time around. If you can make other women come after you (or at least seem as if they are), then that’s a good thing.
So invite other male and female friends to the same place that same evening. Don’t flirt with any of the women, just have regular conversations with them. Touch all your female friends in exactly the same way as you touch her. Spread your attention equally out amongst all your friends – the guys included. Keep making eye contact with the others.
Once the Slate is Clean…
Chances are that she will start wanting your attention now that she’s not getting it! This will re-frame everything because she will believe that the special attention you have given her is just your way with everybody. She will feel like she doesn’t have control over you anymore, and that if she wants extra attention from you she will have to do something more to get that attention, like start flirting.
This will clear the slate and allow you to start over without having something impede the onset of a different relationship. Flirt back – be playful; use plenty of negative body language like turning your back to her. See if she flirts and touches you back a lot. Get it really going.
Once you are totally sure that she is attracted to you, you can start off on rapport again and give her one-on-one time.
For the more advanced techniques of getting out of the friend zone you can read the bonus material that comes with the Tao of Badass ebook which you can order on the official site through our verified link.